Wednesday, 20 July 2011

So here's to the golden moon.

I think my Grandma had just about the best laugh in the world.

In conversation, you would often hear it bubbling out of her - or, more likely, bursting out. She had a knack for telling you half an hours' worth of troubles, then making a joke about it all and letting out a gale of laughter; or spinning out one of her favourite stories, chuckling through it, her voice cracking with excitement as she got to an important bit.

Of late, the laugh hadn't been making much of an appearance. Things had been hard to say the least. But the last time I saw her, there it was; not as big or brash as it once was, a shadow of that really. But still there.

There are stresses that people let themselves be pulled into when they're planning a wedding; something I've discussed before and which C and I both try pretty hard not to buy in to. What you try not to consider is the idea that the people you always imagined would share the day with you can suddenly be gone - which makes me all the more glad I haven't been wasting time worrying about what specific colour of red our roses might be.

We were - sadly - prepared for the idea that my own grandma would be unlikely to make it there on the day; as she hadn't been well for some time, and we didn't think she would have been strong enough. I did hope to at least be able to show her the finished outfit; clothes being something of a shared, passed-down obsession.

But not having Craig's gran there - the kind, wonderful, "very easy to become fond of" Toots - wasn't, to be honest, something either of us had even considered.

All of a sudden, though, we find ourselves having lost both of them, within a week of each other.

Even writing it down seems a bit too ridiculous; I mean, come on, universe. And yet, one Monday after another we had a fateful call, and one Friday after another we had to say goodbye.

What I keep remembering is what seems like a bit of a daft thing. When we were looking for a venue, there were quite a few reasons we chose ours; but one was how easily accessible it would be for the grannies. On the day, it will be hard not to think that neither of them are able to benefit from the wheelchair-ready ramp entrance to the venue.

Two such wonderful ladies. How I wish they could be there.

So here's to the golden moon
And here's to the silver sea
And mostly here's a toast
to you and me.

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